Saturday, 6 June 2009

...what has happened?

It has been now almost a week and I still have not realized what has actually happened.

Will we ever?

As in time-lapse the days, hours, minutes...have passed, and nothing happend. But what is supposed to happen? What is it that we are waiting for? For the news to tell us that they found the reason why?
To hear that everything is fine and that it was all just a bad dream? To realize that it was not a dream and to face the facts?

I do not know what to believe. All I know is that I wish for them to be on some stranded island...maybe even drinking out of coconuts and eating the fish they caught earlier the day...they ll be sitting in their little cabana and enjoying the sunset...smiling and laughing and be happy to be together. I wish and hope very much that this is the reality and not what my rational part of the brain is trying to tell me since days...

It is easy to say that "life moves on"...but actually doing so is much harder. Everything seems so meaningless and unimportant. It is easy to fall into a deep hole of sorrow right now...but that is dangerous.

I am very happy to be part of a group of great people that knows each other since years or even decades. Even though we lived all over the world and hardly ever knew where each of us actually is right now, we never lost contact and could always depend on each other. Last thursday we all got together in order to celebrate Alex´s 27th birthday. "Celebrate?" you might ask yourself. What is there to celebrate? There is! He is a great person and wonderful friend. He lived his life and enjoyed every second of it. He would have thrown a great party....

Together we are trying to understand what has happened, remember the good times we had with Alex and Julia, cry together and are silent together. I am very thankful to be a part of it.

Thank you all! It means alot to me!

Here a quote that helps me to "move one"...I hope it does the same to you!

Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.

(Henry Miller)

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