Thursday, 28 May 2009

Next stop - fantasy station...

Every morning I leave the house...walk a couple meters, cross the river, and there it is...the Station. I must say I am lucky to have at least a nice station..even though there a pigeons everywhere, and one has to be careful not to be the victim of some flying rat with digestive trouble...

As I am not into commitment in any way...I do not have a monthly travel card, but buy myself each day a new ticket. I know what you are NO, leave me alone...I dont care!

Now - what the funny thing about travelling every day with the same train at the same time is, is not the ride itself...but the people you travel with.

There are certain people that you see each day. You enter the train and know already that there ll be there. Some you have seen that often that you already know their wardrobe...

Sometimes, when you catch their eye, or vice versa, you feel like smiling or saying "hello, how are you today" or simply nod. There is a certain familiarity that is difficult to explain. Often I wonder where they are traveling to or what they actually do.

But the fantasy behind it, the unknown, is often far more interesting and sexy than the truth. So best is to leave it this way and when entering the train simply look at someone and imagine what story hides behind that face...

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Tolerance day 2009.

Political correctnes is completely overrated and so 90s. C´mon people, dont fool yourself, I know that you often think different than what you actually say....

"Oh, this poor homeless person, certainly it is the economy and those greedy bankers that took his home....wife...rolex...dignity....I wish I could help him, but unfortunately just right now I do not have one cent on me..."

let me translate:

"What the fuck smells like shit here...?! Damn, can someone get this fucking importunate beggar out of my postal code!? I bet all he does during the day is drink, piss, vomit and then sleep in it...maybe he even bat his wife! What the hell...stop starring at my rolex! I have 100€ in my wallet and another 10k on my account and still wont give you a cent!"

Would not life be much easier if we would be all simply honest to oneself and each other? Maybe even actually say what we really think? I dont know if it will make our life less complicated, but for sure more interesting!

Another example:

"Oh sweetie, what a lovely new african-american boyfriend you have! He looks so clever and behaves so nice. He has lovely table manners and treats you well. I am happy for you and welcome him in our family."


"You stupid piece of shit bringing us some nigga´boy in the house. He looks like he is about to rob our house! He is most likely already checking out whats of value! At least during dinner he did shut up so I did not have to listen to his ghetto slang....I bet he is gonna beat you...or even force you to prostitute yourself!! Either you leave him or your are not our daughter any longer!"

Now, having studied politics myself, I know that these two examples might sound a bit harsh, but c´mon, you probably know already at least one person who fits this criteria.

All Polish people steal...all Indian smell, all American are fat and dumb, all English are fat and dumb and have a stick up their arse, ...Brasilians are all sexy models, Arabs are all terrorists, Jews are all rich and have big noses and Japanese hard working perverts.

So, how about we have a global "tolerance day". One day, of course we dont have to go to work that day..., where we tell everyone what we actually think of her/him. Since it is "tolerance day" the other person has to tolerate your opinion and can tell you afterwards what she/he thinks of you as well.

Would not that be nice?

...oh well, and so what the day after you have around 200 people less in your facebook account, a broken nose and low self-esteem... - you had a day off of work!

To finish it a nice quote by Heinrich Heine:

"Be entirely tolerant or not at all"

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

An ode to Silvio...

Buongiorno Italia gli spaghetti al dente un partigiano come presidente, con l'autoradio sempre nella mano destra un canarino sopra la finestra. dolce vita in bella Italia. With its vino, pasta and amore it is fascinating us all. Who has not dreamed at some point in his/her life to move there and enjoy a nice cappuccino on the spanish steps while whistling at the belle donne passing by.

I have been there and done all that...and maybe even more.
But still I have the feeling that I was missing if I have not lived to the fullest.

And damn was I right!!

If you are in Rome do as the Romans, they say...WRONG!
If you are in as Silvio Berlusconi!

He is a hero! Not only is he the Italian Prime Minister, for the second time, but furthermore he is the founder of Fininvest, main shareholder of Mediaset and owner of the AC Milan!

What more can a boy wish for...power,porn and football!
And if that was not enough, now he has an 18 year old Neapolitan cupcake.

Dear God, Buddha, Allah, Varuna or even Captain Crunch...when I die, I want to reincarnate as Silvio. Or even better make me Silvio now...just younger, smarter and more I can enjoy longer!

To sum it my favourite Silvio quote:

Only Napoleon did more than I have done. But I am definitely taller.

Viva Italia!

Monday, 25 May 2009

Silver is the new Gold!

Ah yes....we men are just like wine...the older the better. At least thats what I keep on telling myself. Who cares about the little wrinkles around your eyes...or forehead...or wherever. A little stomach is considered as a sign of healthy and good living instead of too much beer and burgers.

This, however, was working for 2.000 years...and then came the 90s. All of sudden we had "male sex symbols" to fight against. Big posters looking down on us from Time Square telling us "we are fat and lazy". All of sudden men were buying anti-aging cremes, running to plastic surgeons and started extreme sports with the age of 50 in order to impress the young ladies. It was not enough anymore to have a swiss bank account or at least humour, now we also needed a six-pack (no - not the beer) and love kids (not the Michael Jackson kind of love).

BUT - just as the 90s passed and everybody was trying to look like a never-aging twenty something, our beloved friends from the "Planet Marketing" came up with a new idea!

...the Silver Surfer....or even better: Best Ager!

I wonder how many friends he has on Facebook?

So after almost twenty years of telling us that we need to stay young in order to belong to the "best", the game twisted. Now if you turn 50 you belong to the new "in-crowd" of Best Agers...
Grandmas´ are the new it-girls, grandpas´the new/old sugga daddys. Being "experienced" and wise is sexy, grey hair is the new preoxide blonde and you get a reserved seat in any public transport.

Around 40% of Germans are 50 or older...and the number is rising. Despite of being confused if I now look more forward to get older or least I know that the older I get the more "attractive" I am for the economy.

But who cares? Give this thing a couple more years and then we ll have something new coming "Chimponomy", where smart chimps rule the market (or Bush already did) or how about "The Hilton - less is more?".

So whats all the fuzz Groucho Marx already said:

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

So as I said at the are like wine the older they get...ah who cares, lets open a bottle and get drunk!

Sunday, 24 May 2009

To Lunch or not to Lunch - Where is the question?

"My favourite animal is steak!" (Fran Lebowitz)

Food is great, especially if its on my plate. Going out with friends for dinner is a ritual that is important to me. The more the better. But since it is easy to find great places for Dinner, why is it so hard to find something great for Lunch?

Every Monday till friday, sometime between noon and 1pm, I have the same problem: where to have lunch?

Now, it is not that my work is in some place far far away from civilisation, au contraire, it is right in the heart of Berlin Mitte. There are about 5 zillion places that offer food, or at least something that seems eatable. Nevertheless, the second I, or my stomach, decide to get up and go out to grab some lunch, I am confronted with a problem....

The issue with having too many really having too many choices! Do I feel like some Sushi or Dim Sum? How about a Turkish delicacy or some Pizza? Maybe Salad or a sandwich?

This week I ate everyday different salads offered by coffee shop around the corner. They taste good, my diet is happy, but I am already bored. I am not a why eat like one?!

Q: How to solve this crisis?
A: I will eat every day at a different place.

My goal is to eat at each place within 500m at least once!
I will rate them and of course let you know if there are some dirty secrets hidden in the kitchen...

May the foodolympics begin!