What have you done?

Oh Alex what have you done? You left us today...for what reason? Is it better that way? I do not know you and still do know the answer. You are brave and stupid in the same way. I would love to be as brave as you and am too rational not to follow. Is this really the easiest way to get out? Is it not beeing a coward? Would it be really ok? Everybody else is crying and you are laughing? I know it is not this way and that it is too romantic. I know that it is ok. Why is it that it makes me think. What is it that is waiting for us...oh it is nothing. Is it a relief? Not it is not...all it is its an excuse for not fighting. But what if we are too weak to fight any longer? I do not know...please tell me. People around you do not know and still they think they know best. Who does? Please tell me! All I know is that this really fucks me up and that life is a battle that has to be won and fought for, doesnt it?!